Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
