Where is the hickey?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
