he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
