Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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