Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
