I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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