I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
