just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
