this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
