Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Vodka?
Forever.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
