i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
