Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
