i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
