I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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