I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
