I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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