Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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