let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
