Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
