physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
