Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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