do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
