shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Oh god it's open bar.
And then he peed in my hair
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