at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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