All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
