They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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