she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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