so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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