love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
