Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You are the jesus of drinking
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
