That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
