have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
