Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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