quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize