R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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