I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize