dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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