Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
