just come out here and I will go home with you...
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
im six kinds of drunk right now
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
