i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
