It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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