You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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