like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You can't just leave with hair like that
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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