so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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