she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
