Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
