Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize