I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize