i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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