Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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