I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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