if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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