My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
