I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I love you. Go after that dick
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
