was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
