goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
