Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
