with your own penis?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
