Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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