You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Randomize
