I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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