I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
