I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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