You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
