How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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